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Using Violence

People who have stopped using violence say the hardest part is admitting they needed help to change their behavior. Changing your behavior takes courage but brings lifelong rewards.

If your family is scared of you, or if people tell you that your behavior is frightening, you might need to consider making changes to the way you behave.

Change is possible: it takes courage, effort and determination. There are services within TESSA and El Paso County and Teller County that offer programs and support for you to learn new ways of behaving.

The Help Line (855-978-2638) provides self-help information and connects people to services where appropriate. It is available 24/7.

What’s Next?

Experiencing Violence

If you are experiencing violence, tell someone.

It could be a friend, family member, workmate, teacher, carer, employer or health professional, or family violence prevention service.

No-one should be fearful of their partner or a member of their family. No matter what your age or sex, it’s never OK if your partner or any member of your family:

  • scares or intimidates you with words or actions
  • makes you isolated and alone
  • touches you in a way you don’t want
  • uses threats to control you
  • damages property/walls/ possessions to scare you
  • physically hurts you – e.g. attempts to strangle, hits, kicks, pushes, bites or pulls your hair
  • makes you feel scared of what might happen next
  • keeps your money from you.

It is never okay for your partner or any member of your family to use violence to hurt or control you.

If you are in an abusive relationship, it can help to develop a plan to stay safe – while in the relationship and if you decide to leave.

Make a Safety Plan

Warning Signs

Warning signs that a person is being abused or abusive include:

  • increasing isolation from support networks like friends, and family.
  • constant and unwanted checking up on e.g. checking their phone, texting, checking their Facebook page
  • telling a partner what they should wear or how they should look
  • put-downs and insults
  • threatening to hurt them physically or actually doing so
  • threatening to hurt their reputation at work, or among their social circle or actually doing so
  • a change in character – increasingly unhappy or even wearing a “mask” of happiness that friends suspect isn’t real
  • harassing or stalking an ex-partner
  • threats against property or pets
  • financial control
  • making all the decisions
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